The Fools In Front of the Screen
by MyOwnAntagonist
Summary: Rated PG for mild language. I'm warning you ahead of time: This fic is incredibly stupid. And it's a one-shot, so no more chapters! Anyhoo, RR please!


The Fools In Front of the Screen  
  
A one-shot Pong fic by MyOwnAntagonist  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Matt and Anthony are two of my good friends and they own themselves. Atari is owned by I don't know who, and ditto for Pong. The idea for the Ultra Pong Monsters, though, is MINE! MY PRECIOUS! (I don't own THAT phrase, either.)  
  
Matt stared at his living room ceiling, counting the dots. He was very bored, for it was summer and most of his friends were either busy or gone. Just then, Matt's phone rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey Matt! I'm bored." On the phone was one of Matt's friends, Anthony.  
  
"No, really? I thought that flaming bag of dog crap I left on your porch would have kept you amused..."  
  
"That was YOU!?" Matt grinned. Of course it was him!  
  
"Yeah. Anyways. What's up?"  
  
"I'm bored." The boy rolled his eyes. "We should go do something!"  
  
"Like what? Neither of us have a car, and it's too hot out to ride our bikes anywhere."  
  
"Well, my Mom can take us somewhere. I know! Let's go to that antiques place by your house!" Matt thought for a minute. Antiques? Him? Hell no! He, being on the football team, was far too cool to go hang out at an *Antiques* place.  
  
But hey, what the hell? He had nothing better to do.  
  
"Alright, I guess. There's nothing better to do around here."  
  
"Great! We'll pick you up in a few minutes."  
  
**Later, at the Antiques Store**  
  
"Dude, look at this!" Anthony said, leaning over a box. Matt joined him in looking.  
  
"What're we looking at?" The other boy turned to Matt with an expression akin to amazement and disgust.  
  
"Don't you know?" He whispered. "This...this is...oh, wow, this is great...!" Anthony turned back to the black box thingy.  
  
"Dude! What IS it?"  
  
"This is the mother of all gaming systems...The Birth of the Gaming Revolution...this, my friend...this is the Atari!" He exclaimed in reverent awe. To add to the sheer omnipotent power of this statement, Anthony became all glowy and began to look like a photo negative.  
  
Matt raised an eyebrow. "And that's supposed to mean something to me?"  
  
Anthony's eyes widened. "YES! Oh my GAWD, dude, you don't know what an Atari is! MY LIFE IS RUINED! NOOO!" Matt exhaled and shook his head.  
  
"Whatever. Let's just buy the damn thing and go home and play it."  
  
"YAY!" The two guys bought the Atari system, and with it received the game of Pong. Anthony held the system and the game reverently.  
  
**After much swearing and beating on the TV and Atari system**  
  
"It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!!!!" Anthony screamed.  
  
"Dude! Shut the frick up! It's not Frankenstein!" Matt yelled at his friend.  
  
"My baby...my love...my precious Pongenstein...." Anthony was cooing to the game and system. Matt just shook his head and grabbed a controller.  
  
"Whatever, dude. Let's just play!"  
  
**********  
  
"Hey Larry! Wake up! The power's turning on!" The Paddle opened a groggy eye.  
  
"Don't joke about stuff like that, Curly! We haven't been turned on in ages!" The other Paddle rolled his eyes.  
  
"But we're being turned on! So act lively! And where's Moe!?"  
  
"Here I am!" The Ball chirped. "Whoa-AHH! HERE I GO!" Moe cried as he started moving. Larry was moved to deflect Moe, and Curly was moved to bounce Moe back at Larry.  
  
"I can't believe it! We're actually being played again!" Curly shouted.  
  
"I know! This is the best day of my life!" Larry laughed.  
  
"Sure, it's all fun and games for you guys, but- OUCH!- it hurts for me!" Moe cried. Being a Pong Ball was hard!  
  
**Hours and Hours later**  
  
"Please...no more...**pant pant**..so..tired..." Larry panted, sluggishly trying to reflect Moe. He missed.  
  
"WAH!" Moe cried in despair. This was getting too much for him; he couldn't stand it anymore, being bounced between to Paddles--!  
  
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! FREEZE!" Curly shouted. The game froze and the three friends took a breather.  
  
"Aren't they getting bored by now? I mean, what's so entertaining about bouncing a ball between two paddles?!" Larry screamed. He was almost ready to do something drastic.  
  
"Relax, Larry! Remember our exercises? Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out." Larry went through the routine of calming down.  
  
"Okay, guys, we need to do something about this! I can't take any more!" Curly said. "I say we attack!"  
  
Moe's eyes widened. "You don't mean...!?"  
  
"Yes! I mean....ULTRA PONG MONSTERS!"  
  
"But Curly...are you sure that's a good idea? We could be hurt, or worse... ERASED..." Larry cried in despair. The worst fate for a video game was being Erased. It was worse than being decompiled, even, or contracting a fatal virus. Being Erased was the worst nightmare for any video game.  
  
"Would you rather be played to exhaustion?!" Larry shrunk down and whimpered. Moe comforted him.  
  
"See what you've done? You've made Larry cry!"  
  
Curly's voice took on a comforting tone. "Larry? Do YOU want to attack those fiends that are playing us to exhaustion?" Larry whimpered something.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Yes! I can't stand it anymore! I want to die and go to video game heaven...Where we have uber graphics that require very little memory space...and noise...I want a theme song, dammit!" Curly grinned.  
  
"Then it's settled! Sorry, Moe, but it's a majority ruling! Fools in front of the screen, here we come!"  
  
**********  
  
"What the heck! Why'd it freeze up?!" Matt shouted. Anthony shrugged.  
  
"I dunno!"  
  
"Well, you're the video game freak, so do something about it!" Matt went to kick the Atari system, but stopped when he heard an ominous rumbling.  
  
"Uh...what's that?" Anthony asked stupidly. Matt shrugged.  
  
"I don't know...but it sounds like it's coming from the Arati..."  
  
"ATARI!"  
  
"Sorry! Geez! Fine then, it sounds like it's coming from the Atari!" Both guys froze as the Atari and television exploded in a show of colors.  
  
Thud. Thud. Thud.  
  
"So this is the Outside, huh Curly?"  
  
"LARRY! SHUT UP! We're supposed to be scary and menacing, remember?!" Ultra-Pong-Monster Curly shouted. Larry resumed his scary and menacing demeanor, and Curly rolled his eyes.  
  
The two Pong Paddles, Larry and Curly, were now giant vertical lines of raging fury. They had furry arms and legs with poison spikes on them, gleaming yellow eyes, and inch long fangs dripping blood. Moe, the Pong Ball, was a floating sphere of what appeared to be molten lava. He had fiery red eyes that shot red beams of pure Pong power.  
  
"MUAHAHAHAHAHA! WE ARE THE ULTRA PONG MONSTERS! FEEL OUR WRATH!!" All three Pong Monsters shouted. By this time, Anthony and Matt were cowering like little girls behind the couch.  
  
"SAVE US!" They screamed. The Ultra Pong Monsters growled dangerously and advanced upon the helpless guys.  
  
"You have played us to exhaustion...now we shall kill you! FEEL THE WRATH OF THE ULTRA PONG MONSTERS!" They shouted, their voices melting together like some Uber-Giant-Sound of raging Pong fury.  
  
"But...why us?!" Matt shouted like a little girl. Anthony was sobbing his eyes out.  
  
"Because..." The Ultra Pong Monsters said, "You are the Fools In Front of the Screen, and YOU MUST DIE!" 


End file.
